Turn Signals

Today, I’ve decided not to write about something as lame and uninteresting as healthcare reform or war, but on a topic much, much more serious, gentle readers.

Turn signals.

Oh what a magnificent planet this would be if there was some way that we could communicate with our fellow road travelers about what our intentions are while out on the road! If only there were a way to provide a visual cue that we needed to be in the lane they were in, only ahead of them.

It would be fantastic! The other motorist would see this visual communication, slow down a bit and let you in and everyone would be happy! Just imagine the ease of driving on a road where you knew when someone was going to slow down and turn onto another road or needed to pull off to the side to answer the cell phone, because they understood that driving a 1 – 2 tone vehicle requires all of one’s attention and do take away from that would be unthinkable (I’ll write more about this someday).

I think I shall invent such a device. I can see it now. Follow along and I think you’ll agree that this could be a fantastic new way of safe motoring all over the world! You take two cats and duct tape them to the roof on either side for the car and with a system of pulleys, levers, electrode and buttons you could make them not only cry out to alert other drivers of your lane-changing intent, but it would also provide a visual cue with all the arms and tail madly waving about. I do see one or two flaws in my design however, namely cold weather and what could happen to a driver if one of his cats comes loose and get into the moving vehicle. I guess this isn’t the way to go. I think it would be bad for the cats as well, now that I’ve considered it a second time.

If only there was some other way to avoid being a shithead by changing lanes or roads by letting other motorists know what you’re planning to do…