The Government Will Own Your Computer

Glenn Beck got up the other morning, popped a crazy pill with his latte and muffin, like he does every morning and met with his buddy Kim Guilfoyle at the FAUX News Lies and Propaganda Room and proceeded, as usual, to bull shit viewers.

It turns out that our Fascist, Socialist, Marxist, Nazi government and its white-people-hating leader are stealing personal information from computers. And they're doing it by giving you money for your shit box.

That's right, Glenn Beck was on FAUX News the other day talking to Kim Guilfoyle, who got her Law Degree in that liberal tree hugging home of Nancy Pelosi, about the www.cars.gov website. STOP! Don't go to that site. If you do your computer is going to be taken over by the government and all of your information will be sucked out of it and used for the same kind of sleazy activity agencies like the IRS uses it for.

According to Beck, who out of concern for his own information (and all the porn he's collected) prudently stole a co-workers laptop to go to the site, was warning people about the Cash for Clunkers website as if it were a phishing/hacker site. According to Beck the agreement states that the government will have access to your computer and claims the right to take all of your personal information from your computer and use it however they want, including handing it over to foreign governments. Hell they might even publish your stuff on their Facebook page.

The liberals, who usually come out in droves when the rights of plant life have been violated, must have missed the boat on this because I didn't hear anything about it in the mainstream liberal media. Why aren't they going nuts about this? They sure were pissed when the Bush administration made it OK to wiretap us all. Maybe they're all out getting new cars.

At the beginning of the segment both Beck and Guilfoyle yelp, "Whatever you do don't go to the site," and "Don't try this at home."

They are absolutely right. Why should the valued viewers of FOX take advantage of a program that would save them money, is good for environment, is creating jobs, and stimulating the economy? They don't need it. What they need is $5/gallon gas in a car that gets 7 MPG. An American flag and a couple of rifles in the rear window, and Truck Nuts. Don't forget the truck Nuts.

Since I'd like to think that I'm a reasonably intelligent guy and not easily swayed I decided to use the amazing power of the intertubes to do my own research. Something FAUX News and Glenn Beck don't think their viewers are smart enough to do. Why check for yourself when Glenn Beck is feeding you the facts?

I put on my hazmat suit and Internet condom and with sweat pouring off my brow and hands shaking, headed over to the site to carefully poke around.

Amazingly I'm here to talk about it and the Taliban doesn't know how much porn I have on my computer. Turns out - brace yourselves - that Beck is a bit full of shit.

The agreement he's referring to is for dealerships and it's been on the DOT website since 2001 and it's a standard agreement for anyone logging onto a network. Especially a government network. You probably have a similar - probably scarier - agreement at work if you're using their computer or connecting from home. It protects them against inadvertent access to your files. It doesn't give them permission to pillage your hard drive. It's like me coming over to your house, using the bathroom, and telling you there's a chance I might look in the medicine cabinet. Try reading Microsoft's agreement if you really want a scare. Trust me, you don't own the operating system you bought. The agreement in www.cars.gov isn't a threat or a warning it's an option and you do have a choice ... You don't have to agree. Besides your computer files, phone conversations, and mail has been available to the government since the Patriot Act and to pretty much anyone else who wants it.

In Beck's unmerited defense, he does casually mention that he's logging in as a dealer under his breath amidst the louder more frantic warnings. I'd be interested in knowing how Beck got a car dealer login. Maybe he stole it too.

If you're afraid to go to the site yourself, I'm not the only one who risked it all in the name of truth (and showing you that Glenn Beck is a douche - stay tuned for "Michelle Malkin and Sarah Palin are the bags"). This guy filmed the entire gut wrenching ordeal.

Beck also takes the oportunity to snort about the site. "It didn't cost $19 Million dollars," he says. Because if it had he'd be bitching about how much the government spent on a website. God forbid the government should save money and put up a clean, simple, effective site, right?

Beck's only reason for existence is to find flaws with a government that he doesn't agree with. A treasonous act according to past administrations. He dug into the Car.gov site looking for flaws and came up with...uhm nothing. Beck's pissed because his team lost. To hell with what might be good for his viewers or the country. It's not about what's good, what works, what's true, or what's news. It's about finding fault. Even when it's not there. So when he couldn't find a legitimate flaw with the program he didn't responsibly report to his audience that the program might actually be good. You know in an unbiased sort of way. He did what every good reporter with an entire news network of researchers at his disposal would do. He made shit up. And in the spirit of unbiased and honest reporting he manipulated and frightened his audience all in the name of ratings and being pissed off for losing.

Someone that holds or purports to hold the title of reporter has a certain responsibility. To blatantly lie to the public is irresponsible on the part of Beck and of FOX News. They are misinforming the public about something that might benefit them and calling it news.

It's a reporter's (or public personality's) responsibility to research what they're passing off as investigative. Especially if they do it on a news show. It's the station's responsibility to edit and make sure the content is accurate and not simple conjecture, opinion, or in any way misleading . Otherwise it's opinion, humor, or ranting and should be presented that way.

If Glenn Beck were on TV screaming that North Korea just launched a missile that was heading directly for my house and had video of it behind him on the screen I wouldn't leave my house, because Glenn Beck lies and those lies will hurt him, the truck nuts that call themselves a news organization, and the people trusting his rants as news and trustworthy information. They already have.