What it is

A couple of hundred years ago Ben Franklin listed 13 virtues he felt were important to daily life and society: Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, and Humility. It’s hard to laugh at the thought of someone proposing that today. He also proposed perfumed suppositories. A visionary on both counts.

Everyone expects and feels entitled to wealth and fame for simply being who they are. More often than not, who they are is a jackass with an internet connection and a karaoke machine. Some are willing to humiliate themselves in some way just to be on TV or in the news. Others are too lazy to sing, dance, juggle, tell a joke, strip, or screw. Instead, they look for scalding pots of coffee, icy walks, horny co-workers, someone who will fire them, operate on them, and an equally ethically challenged lawyer to help them file a law suit.

Closer to home, you see these footstools every day. They walk around screaming their unbelievably personal stories into cell phones with ringtones capable of drowning out a heavy metal guitar solo. They are accompanied by their uncontrollably wild offspring that they let run around and scream like drunken monkeys. To this they are apparently completely immune and deaf. They think of no one but themselves, their needs, their looks, how to become famous, how not to get arrested, how to get arrested, and who should be sued when it doesn’t work out. They are more concerned with who’s getting married, divorced, going to jail, or getting fat than they are with their own welfare, much less anyone else’s.

In short, shitheadery describes a phenomenon that has permeated society. It’s a phenomenon that appeared near or around the end of civilization. It’s an act or action by another person that makes you want to knock some sense into them or at the very least bitch slap them. It’s too late for therapy and these people are usually beyond conventional help. It’s too deep, too ingrained in the fabric of their DNA, too much a part of their being. They are, for the most part, hopeless.

It is different from Bullshit in that Bullshit has some integrity and depth. For a clearer understanding of Bullshit grab a copy of On Bullshit by H.G. Frankfurt.

Shitheadery is in its own catagory.

It is:

The idiot that cut you off or pulled into traffic because he needed to be three inches closer to home and didn’t think you’d mind slamming on your breaks and being rear-ended by the other douche performing a colonoscopy with his car at 80 MPH, yapping on his cell phone, checking his e-mail, and playing with himself.

The customer service person who asks if you used the item you’re returning. The one that’s still in the box and shrink wrapped. For that matter it’s also the wooly mammoth of a customer that returns a bathing suit two months later, claiming it was a gift and doesn’t fit and that the sand was there when he bought it—it’s a thong by the way.

Politicians that double talk, can’t talk, or what comes out of their mouths is so incredibly stupid and ludicrous you feel like sticking your head in the toilet and slamming the lid down on it. The ones that claim to be doing what’s best for the country (any country), state, or town but are actually incapable of making a sound decision since they have lost all sense of integrity and value and no longer have the skills to make decision based on conscience.

Corporations that fleece customers and investors without the added value benefit of a reach around.

Bosses from management factories that turn out degrees to people who have no social skills or knowledge in the area they’ve been slated to manage and given enough time and practice might be able to outperform a chimp at turd tossing.

I have found that laughing about it and having put a name to it makes experiencing and witnessing it slightly more tolerable. I’ve gone from wanting to kill someone to not minding if they dropped dead and in that there is a slight hope. Hopefully you’ll find the same serenity and peace.