Oct

24

The Dangers of Halloween

Filed Under WTF? Shitheadery | 1 Comment

When I was a kid, the month of October was 29 days of preparation. We’d get three or four of those five dollar costumes from Woolworths or Child World. The flammable quasi-paper ones with a lead paint plastic mask that fit over your face with a rubber band, attached with metal staples. You could barely breathe and would sweat so much that the mask would slide around until the paint melted and it stuck to your face. Cartons of eggs would sit out in the sun for weeks to build up the right stink. We’d stock up on cheap Barbosol shaving cream and switch the tops with aerosol cans so they’d shoot farther. If you had money or a cool dad one of the kids in the group had a fire extinguisher he’d bring. All the other kids would see was a giant white cloud spewing a shower of rotten eggs. The smoke would settle and kids would scatter, plastered in eggs, smelling like your grandfather’s fart and covered in shaving cream.

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