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Nov
4
Whoa, talk about a Maverick
Filed Under Political Shitheadery | Leave a Comment
Looking at the predictions of the election (you know, the one That One’s in) it looks like the majority of the pundits are favoring Obama to win by a pretty steep margin. Even Carl Rove weighed in. Obama. Carl Rove maybe a creep, but he’s smart and doesn’t like to be wrong.
Most pundits don’t like to be wrong. Then there’s Fred Barnes, editor of The Weekly Standard.
Here’s his prediction:
Winner: McCain
Electoral College: Obama 252 McCain 286
Senate Seats: 55 Democrats 43 Republicans
House Seats: 255 Democrats 180 Republicans
This guy is either delusional, crazy, or has some inside information and stock in voting machines.
He better hope for an Obama win. The unemployment benefits will be better.
Oct
21
Here’s the plan. Say something like, “I think liberals, Democrats, and really anyone who doesn’t vote the way I do or want them to is an anti-American, liberal, tree hugging, horse fucker who hates America. I mean how could you not hate America if you don’t feel the way I feel. I’m American. I love America. I must be a real American.”
Say that while you’re at a rally, standing in front thousands of people and reporters.
Then when asked about it, deny it. Tell anyone who says you said those horrible things is irresponsible, unprofessional, and throw in “elite media” because it really sounds good. Then sit back and pray. Pray to your God. Your God thinks you’re right and will set those other queers on fire.
When someone has you on tape saying those things? Oh, shit. Oops. Looks like you’re a victim of that gotcha media.
Tell ‘em you didn’t mean it.
Shit. It worked for Robin Hayes.
Oct
11
This is actually how the previous post sounded before I calmed down. I’m thinking I should have stuck with this one.
To my republican friends
Listen up numb nuts,
I’m getting a little tired and frazzled by this Presidential campaign! Presidential? It’s hardly presidential.
I’ve spent the last eight years listening to you defend this administration lie, cheat, swindle, and stick it to us, the Constitution, and our rights. We’ve watched billions of dollars, military lives, and our international reputation get flushed down the shitter for this? Look at us! We’re a pathetic laughing stock to the rest of the world and there’s no real end in site.
I’ve never taken a party stance with you or attacked you personally, but c’mon! Really? These two jackasses are the best you can do and because of some farcical party allegiance, you’re going defend this?
Obama’s a terrorist? A Muslim? Dangerous? Are you kidding me? Do you watch the news? And don’t tell me you watch FOX. FOX is a goddamned travesty. They’re an insult to journalistic ethics and should be forced to put disclaimers on every show they air.
WARNING: This show is purely for entertainment purposes and ridicules the American public. Do not watch this show if you are intellectually impaired as it may cause irreparable damage to your integrity and to your common sense. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours while watching this program immediately castrate yourself.
Sep
7
Saddened by it all
Filed Under Political Shitheadery | Leave a Comment
It occurred to me the other day, while I was sitting on my back porch listening to crickets. Crickets generally annoy me and I have a sinking feeling that some day they’ll rise up and attack me for having found them annoying. That’s not what occurred to me. The cricket thing I mean. I’ve always known that.
What did occur to me is that I’m saddened by the this Presidential race that is in fact not very Presidential at all. When it comes to the Republicans it’s caddy, snide, and sarcastic. And with the addition of Sarah Palin, shrill. John McCain held some esteem with me at some point. The “Straight Talk Express” made me smile and while I didn’t agree with everything he had to say, I respected his right to say it and the way he said it. He seemed to believe what he said.
